Vongola Hotline
by VongolaXII
Summary: Welcome to the Vongola's Hotline! If there's anything we could help you, please dial 1-2759-80186933-L. We are at your service! TYL!verse T for swearing
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: …I have nothing to say about this

A/N: Lol, hey! A new story again. Fudge I need to finish all those stories hanging. =_=

* * *

**Welcome to the Vongola's Hotline!**

**If there's anything we could help you, please dial 1-2759-80186933-L. We are at your service!**

**The type of questions you are forbidden to ask:**

**o Anything that has to do with matured contents**

**o Anything that has to do with pissing off the workers**

**Easy, right? So what are you waiting for? Dial our number and tell us what are your questions or problems! Workers available currently:**

**Hibari Kyouya**

**Tsunayoshi Sawada**

**Gokudera Hayato**

**Chrome Dokuro**

**We will get back to you as soon as possible! If you have trouble contacting us, please feel free to visit the Vongola Mansion—but that is not encouraged. **

**Have a nice day!**

* * *

Tsuna sighed and pushed himself off the chair. "I'm parched…" he muttered. Saying that advertisement was more tiring than he thought, especially when he had to say in a cheerful tone.

The brunet then walked out to his own room. He then continues with his paper works which seemed to have buried his desk. "I hope people will respond nicely to the advertisement. I knew it wasn't a good idea when Reborn decided to do it suddenly." He mumbled.

* * *

**A/N: …My life. Is so dull and cliché. I know, right? Sad life…anyway, call in. I'll update as soon as I can. :))**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: …I have nothing to say about this**

**A/N: Because I have loads of time today. =_= And lol, you guys actually dialled it. I laughed so hard xxD I love you all!**

**Warning: It's your own risks to talk to these characters. Do not take their swearing or sarcasms to your heart...**

* * *

Hibari looked up, glaring at the ringing phone. He was already informed that he would receive calls from the fans but he didn't expect them to be this quick. The raven muttered something before picking up.

**[Call from Sawada Tsunayuki]**

**Hibari,**** w****hat is with you and biting people? Are you a vampire?**

**[Hibari Kyouya's reply]**

**Unfortunately, yes. Do you want a bite too?**

He slammed down the phone. Then the phone rang again. He groaned.

**[Call from BlackAngel'sWrath]**

**Do you kinda a little bit like Chrome?**

**[Hibari Kyouya's reply]**

**I believe it's the other way round, herbivore.**

**.**

**[Call from Viona]**

**I'm just wondering, recently my brother start visiting psychologist after his last job to deliever something to Vongola Mansion, he start having a pineapple phobia. Do you know what might happen while my brother was there? He started shivering every time we mention 'Vongola', mumbling about pineapple, blue, and red eye. I'm worried about him, you know…**

**[Hibari Kyouya's reply]**

**Congratulations. That pineapple herbivore named Mukuro Rokudo had successfully scared the shit out of him—probably by asking him to sign a contract.**

* * *

Gokudera picked up at the first ring. He was kind of ecstatic about his new job, especially when his beloved Jyuudaime was in it too.

"Hello?"

**[Call from Sawada Tsunayuki]**

**Gokudera, are you gay? You always follow Tsuna around like a lost golden retriever.**

**[Gokudera Hayato's reply]**

**WHAT THE FUCK, WOMAN?! He's my beloved Jyuudaime and I have to protect him! Especially from people like you!**

**.**

**[Call from Viona]**

**You like Tsuna don't you?**

Gokudera twitched. Of course he _likes_ Tsuna, but not in that way! He growls lowly before answering;

**[Gokudera Hayato's reply]**

**I believe something went into your brain and died inside. Of course I like Jyuudaime, but as friends only. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. Go back to primary.**

**.**

**[Call from XSkyeStarlX]**

**Where did you get the money for all the dynamites that you keep in god-knows-where? And do you really live in an apartment? Why not move in with Jyuudaime?**

**[Gokudera Hayato's reply]**

**I worked part time. I'm not as lazy as you kids are. I keep my dynamites in somewhere-kids-should-never-know. I don't live in an apartment anymore. I have a condo now. Why? Because Jyuudaime's house is too small—can you please don't tell Jyuudaime this?**

Gokudera instantly regretted what he had said. What will Tsuna say if he hears this? _I'm so dead, must be careful,_ the man thought.

* * *

Tsuna almost spit out his drink when the shrill ring filled the air. He choked and coughed before managing to answer it.

**[Call from Midori the Matchmaker]**

**Tsuna, why are you still a wimp even after Reborn trained you? He is like the best tutor ever and you are still a wimp. And that doesn't include HDWM.**

**[Tsunayoshi Sawada's reply]**

…**Ouch. I'm not a wimp. I'm just not used to hurting people. It's not nice, okay? Anyway, I appreciate your thoughts…**

A black cloud loomed above his head.

**[Call from XSkyeStarlX]**

**Since you are the most experienced in this field, so I'll ask you: How do you deal with a throng of LOUD people without losing your patient? Please share some tips!**

**[Tsunayoshi Sawada's reply]**

**Easy. Stuff earpiece. And then imagine that you're at the amusement park and they are the riders of the roller coaster. Hope that helps!**

**.**

**[Call from TheParadoxicalOtaku]**

**Tsuna, who is your most favourite guardian?**

**[Tsunayoshi Sawada's reply]**

**All of them. Although sometimes one acts too clingy, the other too oblivious, another too noisy, another one was just dangerous and the other one plain creepy. Exclude Lambo and Chrome, they're the decent ones…**

_Oops, that slipped, _the Vongola Decimo gasped. He hopes the fan doesn't go round telling his guardians…

* * *

**[Call from BlackAngel'sWrath]**

**What do you look like in the future?**

Chrome blinked. "…."

**[Chrome Dokuro's reply]**

**Um, my purple hair grew longer? That's the only change I noticed…about my height I'm not so sure. Perhaps I'm higher than boss now!**

**.**

**[Special reply from Chrome Dokuro to Viona]**

**I'm so sorry Mukuro-sama had been scaring your brother away! But I could only tell you; based on your description I think I saw him entering Master's room…D-Demo! I apologize again if Mukuro-sama ever did anything to your brother!**

* * *

**Mukuro Rokudo**

**Yamamoto Takeshi**

**Are available now!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Since when is life lenient?

A/N: ….I had nothing to say. Sorry for late update. Life is just…awesome.

Warning: Author not responsible if you take those answers to heart.

* * *

The mist guardian whirls his chair around, inhaling his hot chocolate. Yum…they tasted so nice! He was about to drink when the phone rang. The bluenette mutters something under his breath like: _Why must people disturb my wonderful date with Chocolate-chan?_ And the likes.

Maybe.

**[Call from Cherry-blossom Showers]**

**Why do you like chocolate so much? Also, what do you do to keep your hair like that? I mean the softness, not the pineapple-ness. (I can do the pineapple-ness, with a dozen clips :D). But I'm curious as to how much hair gel you must have to use to keep it like that all the time, or is it natural? Or were you cursed by the vengeful soul of a pineapple you ate? Or were you a pineapple in one of your lives?**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**Oya, you sure don't know they awesomeness of chocolate, don't you? Fufu, I love the sweet and the feels when it melts on my tongue. Just like co—*coughs* Forget that. The softness comes naturally; and actually you don't need **_**that**_** much clips. Come to the Vongola Mansion. I'd be glad to teach you…AND I AM NOT A PINEAPPLE IN ANY LIVES. And who the hell is Kanda?**

Oh…the fan girls never really understand him, do they? Nope. He answers another call, hoping it was more decent. But dear, Kami likes to fool around with him.

**[Call from Midori the Matchmaker]**

**Hey mismatch pineapple! So I was thinking, my sister wants a unique hairstyle, and she likes your pineapple hairstyle. How do you style that pineapple hairstyle? And are your eyes already mismatched when you were born? And don't you think Chrome looks better without that pineapple hairstyle?**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**First of all, I'm not mismatched pineapple. Second, like I said to the first girl, it is **_**natural**_**. The softness, the style…natural but a quarter of it comes from Ken's failed attempt to be a barber. I don't remember how I look like when I was born. But maybe yes. And yes again. I agreed. Say that to Ken. He styled her hair.**

Now thinking back…He should've punished the blonde for making his life so miserable, eh? He chuckled to himself. _That can wait,_ he thought.

**[Call from ]**

**Mukuro-san why u choose pineapple as your hairstyle, why dont u choose a tomato strawberry or watermelon instead pineapple and do u wear pineapple parfume ur smell like pineapple ah please dont kill me for asking you this. ah one more do u have any favorite food made with pineapple as the ingredient iv live pineapple fried rice.**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**Love your name. And as said, I didn't choose them. Face it. Are you jealous? I'm not a fan of fruits, mine you little kid. And I don't wear perfume. Even if I do, they're NOT pineapple perfume. How many times am I going to tell you people that I absolutely HATE pineapples? My favourite food is waffles. **

"I forgot my waffles in the fridge. Ken must've eaten them. Good, another reason to hang him upside down the tree." The illusionist twitched.

**[Call from Aspira-Silver Skylark]**

**ah! I want to ask Mukuro Rokudo-san; I see many fic that you and Hibari as a couple is it true by any chance?**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**First of all, your name makes me uneasy. Second, why should I tell you? But of course we are. When I go to heaven.**

**.**

**[Call from Orcux]**

**You took control over almost all the guardians' bodies that time in Kokuyo, right? How did it... feel?**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**Not really nice. Because they smell despite that they live in Health Land. Closest example: Ken Joshima.**

**.**

**[Call from Kuyomi-Chan-Is-Dead]**

**Mukuro, ain't you tired of smirking? did your muscle on your face freezed that way?**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**Love your name. We should totally sign a contract. Kufufu, of course no, silly girl. I've fancied smirking when I learned that people is scared by it. Fufufuu…**

And…he smirks again. That pineapple bastard.

**[Call from Mew]**

**Mukuro were you born with pineapple hair or do you just like the fruit a lot**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**I hate that fruit.**

**.**

**[Call from BlackAngel's Wrath]**

**are you... Do you... Um... Secretly like Hibari and chrome bc u tease him a lot and u call her "my dear nagi"**

**[Mukuro Rokudo's reply]**

**I have a crush to crush Hibari Kyouya. Hopes that help. Everybody is dear to me, **_**dear**_** Angel.**

* * *

Gokudera winced. Not another call!

**[Call from Cherry-blossom Showers]**

**Do you secretly consider Yamamoto as a friend?**

**[Gokudera Hayato's reply]**

**More than a friend; like, enemies. I know what you kids are thinking. Please nail it into your mind that I will never **_**ever**_** consider him as a friend.**

Ouch…that was a lie. _Sort of._

**[Call from Kuyomi-Chan-Is-Dead]**

**Have you tried another hairstyle? What does it look like?**

**[Gokudera Hayato's reply]**

…**Let's not talk about it. I'm a little sensitive at that 'sweet' memory…**

The silverette sat in a corner, memories of his hair looking like Kusakabe keeps haunting him.

Hibari growled, for the second time. _I wonder why I ever promised to do this,_ he muttered. Oh, of course he couldn't resist Tsuna's big doe eyes pleading him. Typical.

* * *

**[Call from Cherry-blossom Showers]**

**Do you like sweets?**

**[Hibari Kyouya's reply]**

**Do I look like I like sweets?**

**.**

**[Call from Tenpouin Yuuki]**

**Eherm*cough*****  
****ahmmm... Hibari-san... I just want to a-ask you... What does TYL!Hibird looks like?**

**[Hibari Kyouya's reply]**

**I'm sure your imagination is very **_**creative**_**. Figure it out. Mail the answer to me. If you got it right, I'll let you pet him. ONLY ONE SECOND.**

Now…that was a _risk_. The raven glanced at the innocent yellow bird perching on the table. _Poor Hibird, some rabid herbivores is going to molest you._

**[Call from Orcux]**

**I'm positive I saw you and Tsuna riding in the ferris wheel together... was it just a trick of the light, or did I see you smiling?**

**[Hibari Kyouya's reply]**

**The sun must've gotten into your herbivorous eyes. And when did I ever sit on a **_**Ferris wheel **_**with Tsunayoshi? Must've been another raven you saw.**

Hibari, you liar.

**[Call from BlackAngel'sWrath]**

**yesterday I was walking in the park I saw you and you were sleeping. What were you dreaming about because you were smiling**

**[Hibari Kyouya's reply]**

**I was dreaming on how to wipe out you herbivores from my sight just in one whoosh—splendid.**

And then he continues smiling while thinking back of the dream. Go figure yourself. Even if you offer to strip in front of him he wouldn't tell you his dreams. Good luck!

* * *

**[Call from Cherry-blossom Showers]**

**You're one of the most awesome characters ever But exactly how do you keep sane in the mad bunch you live with? (I mean the Kokuyo as well as the Vongola) Are you really sane, or do you just pretend to be?)**

**[Chrome Dokuro's reply]**

**E-Eh? T-That's too much compliment I could take…I am sane…I always pretend that the rest are mosquitoes. Sometimes I accidentally 'slapped' them without notice…*slapping sound* Ouch, a blue mosquito just bites my shoulders…**

"Mukuro-sama…!" Chrome hisses. Oh, bad idea of giving them the same room. Somebody call Tsuna?

**[Call from Kuyomi-Chan-Is-Dead]**

**I wonder how the other guardian thought of you when you're mad...**

**[Chrome Dokuro's reply] **

**I'm sure they won't like it…**

She took a glance at Mukuro who was holding his cheeks. Ouch.

**[Call from BlackAngel's Wrath]**

**who would you choose to be your husband in the future?**

**[Chrome Dokuro's reply]**

**E-Eh…? I've never thought of it…**

* * *

**[Call from Midori the Matchmaker]**

**I know you don't like hurting people but would it hurt if you looked tougher and stronger? That way people will know that if anybody hurt your friends, they are messing with you. By the way, looking strong might help you win girls' hearts. Maybe Kyoko will fall in love with you too.**

**[Tsunayoshi Sawada's reply]**

**Sou ne...Thank you for the tips, but I guess that is the past…Now I'm the Vongola Boss, I believe no one dares to come near me. **

_Not with Gokudera around…_Aw, life is so sweet, Tsuna.

**[Call from Kuyomi-Chan-Is-Dead]**

**Tsuna, have you checked your eye? 'cause you didn't realize Reborn's adult form even thought he gave you hint so many times? like his catchphrase and action or the way he talk?**

**[Tsunayoshi Sawada's reply]**

**To be honest…I don't know. But he looked hot—um never mind, that slipped. Hang on, there's a call from someone. *beep***

Andddddd he pressed the end call button. Tsuna, you're a liar. Just like Hibari.

Tsk.

* * *

**[Call from Goallll]**

**Yamamoto what weapon would you use instead of a sword**

**[Yamamoto Takeshi's reply]**

**My baseball bat? Hey, are we playing another game? *grinning* Can I join?**

**.**

**[Call from BlackAngel's Wrath]**

**who is ur favorite guardian in the vongola or varia**

**[Yamamoto Takeshi's reply]**

**Everyone…! But I like Reborn the best! He used to have the best games. Oh and Squalo, he has fantastic sword skills! I'm training with him now!**

"Ah, crap." The twenty four years old Rain guardian ends call quickly and grabbed his sword. He totally had forgotten about his training with Squalo.

You need some vitamins, Yamamoto.

* * *

**A/N: Huraaaah, finally done. Bye! I'm going to play Maple now. :P**


End file.
